Pronouns and the Importance of Gender Inclusive Language
The South East of Glasgow has an incredibly diverse and welcoming community at its core, and this is something that is reflected in our membership and the work of our members. The LGBTQI+ community is one of the many that make up the south east of Glasgow and are represented in our membership widely, as well as in our team. As with any community, there are a plethora of individuals who exist within it, and the accompanying language to refer to these individuals is important. This post focuses on the use of different pronouns in relation to this community, and is intended to clarify questions for those who are unsure, and ensure no-one is misgendered in a SEIN space (or other spaces).
What is a pronoun?
Simply put, a pronoun is a word used in place of someone’s name to refer to them. So instead of saying:
“Sam ate the cake”, you’d say “She ate the cake”.
In English we have the pronoun “he” to refer to someone male, “she” to refer to someone female, and “they” as a gender-neutral pronoun and to refer to a more than one person.
Why do pronouns matter?
Because we use gendered pronouns in English, it’s important to use the correct pronoun to match someone’s gender identity. It’s important to note here that there is a difference between sex and gender:
Sex is defined by the physical sex characteristics you have (your reproductive organs), and gender is something we have socially constructed. Gender isn’t fixed and has changed in many ways over time. For example, pink was considered a boy’s colour a hundred years ago, and now is commonly associated with girls in society.
Many people don’t feel like the constructed gender identity that has been imposed on them (sometimes referred to as “assigned at birth”) matches the way they actually feel and want to express themselves. People who feel this way often choose to live outside of the gender binary (men and women) and see gender more as a spectrum. These people are referred to as transgender and non-binary people.
Some people who are non-binary or transgender will use she/her or he/him pronouns, and others will use they/them. People sometimes use a mixture of pronouns, for example she/her and they/them. Pronouns are often used to reflect how someone feels on the inside, and for those who feel neither male nor female, ‘they’ is seen as neutral term to use.
Someone’s gender identity is a very individual and personal thing, and the pronouns that they use are one part of this. You don’t necessarily have to understand someone’s gender identity, you just have to respect it, in the same way you would another culture or religion.
This shift in gendered language is a relatively new thing, but the existence of trans and non-binary people isn’t. We have created a society which is quite rigidly gendered, so it’s no surprise that many people exist outside of that and have done for millennia. Even biologically speaking there aren’t two sexes, in fact intersex people make up roughly 2% of the population globally.
How do I make sure I use the right pronouns?
Using the correct pronouns for someone can take a bit of getting used to, especially if you knew them by different pronouns before. But English is actually a really flexible and relatively gender-neutral language. We use gender-neutral language all the time without realising it:
“Someone has dropped their scarf.” or “The person driving that car has a tail light out. They should be careful.”
Some top tips for getting pronouns and gender-neutral language right:
Don’t assume anyone’s pronouns/gender identity. Get into the habit of using gender neutral pronouns for people until you learn what their pronouns are. This also includes other types of gendered language: i.e. saying “that person” instead of “that woman”
Ask people’s pronouns when you meet them and tell them yours. You can also put your own on your email signature, WhatsApp name, social media etc. This is applicable to everyone; it’s not inclusive to expect only trans and non-binary people to state their pronouns.
Don’t make a big deal of things if you get it wrong, just correct yourself and move on.
Don’t let the fear of getting something wrong stop you from engaging with this and learning more.
Below you can find a list of resources to help with further learning on this topic:
We will be also running a training on the 23rd of February with Pride Outside going in to more detail about this and other elements of creating safe spaces for LGBTQI+ people, particularly in complex environments.